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Letters to my Landlord (2)

Show Man

1 Somewhere Rd,

Ajegunle Lagos.

7th September 2016

 

Mr Landlord,

1 Somewhere Rd,

Ajegunle Lagos.

 

Dear Oga Landlord,

You Do Me Strong Thing

Today, Morufu no dey house, na Biliki dey write for me. I told you earlier that we still have a lot of things to discuss – this season of letters. This Biliki too know book, na big big grammar she just dey use.

I hope you remembered that day, when there was a fire outbreak in the house close to ours, it was like a joke. My wife, Ajike, was cutting onions for the soup she was about to cook. I was helping her out in our one bedroom room apartment washing the tomatoes.  I know that I can’t help her in the kitchen because all the gbeboruns in this house will start talking. My mouth was already watering for the Amala she wanted to prepare that night.

Suddenly, I started hearing voices at the back of my window. I was telling Ajike that  ‘Iya Dele and Iya Ibeji must have started fighting since they had been promising to fight each other for three days now maybe this is the main night’. I wanted to watch the fight to see who will win but I couldn’t because I was so hungry.

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Suddenly, Ehne started shouting Ina o, Ina o, fire fire fire. I didn’t know when Ajike and I found ourselves outside. Ajike was tying a wrapper. I was wearing a dirty singlet on my boxers, Mama Onome’s house was burning. It is the house beside our house. We all did our best to ensure that your house didn’t catch fire. We used all the detergent that Ajike was selling, and you promised to pay her back. I jumped into the well near the house to fetch water to quench the fire (the well is not so deep). After three hours, we were able to quench the fire. We didn’t know that Iya Tosin’s roof also caught fire after we all went inside she raised an alarm, we spent another ten minutes trying to put off the fire.

Oga landlord, you promised to pay Ajike back for using all her detergent but you didn’t. She asked you for the money severally but you ignored her. That business is her only source of income and you wanted to ruin it. I discovered that you wanted to cheat her. So I waited patiently to show you back.

I will tell you what I did later. For now, I want to go and play Baba Ijebu and  Iya Biliki wants to send Biliki message. Expect other letters from me.

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The only,

Show Man

Watch out for Part 3!!!

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