Client's diaryHOUSE STORIES

RAYMOND’S TALE

September 2009 will always be a memorable day in my life. I woke up in the early hours of the morning after a terrifying dream,to be greeted by the loud insults and shouts by my neighbours. In my mind, I was like “… amawa se nkonoo…ki lo tu de bayini tori Olorun….niarokutukutufa.. ” I turned to the side of my bed and realized my lovely angel wasn’t by my side. Well, I presumed she was preparing the kids for school and making their breakfast simultaneously. I stepped into the bath to rinse my face and brush my teeth, and then I decided to go check my wife in the kitchen. On stepping out of the room, I saw my kids having their cereal, and after the morning greetings, I asked where their mom was. Immediately I asked, and just before they answered, I noticed a close similarity between the voice of the supposed neighbour and that of my wife. “…..It shall not be well with you….this thing you have done…..Oloruna da….OlorunAdeboye a gbe mi nija…….” I was confused, but I remained calm. In a split second my mind ran through possible reasons why the voice I heard could be that of my wife. Just as I was lost in thought, I heard Daniel; our last born say “Dad…I think that’s Mom you’re hearing out there.” I couldn’t imagine it was her, until the last confirmation I heard from our landlord who she was arguing with when he shouted “….eehhnnn….e wo…IyaJide ..gbogboariwoti en pa yi ……”. AHhhhh… It cant be my wife, my mind kept on telling me…it just can’t be….No way…ko je ri be. But then, I remembered it was a flat, and we were the only ones with a child named Jide.

OMG!!!! What could have happened?And just at that moment, I heard the back door of the kitchen open and here comes “IyaJide”. “That landlord is a stupid man….God will punish him…..can you just imagine what he did?…” I responded and said “ hmmnn….Good morning dear…how was the night? ” “oohh….am sorry my dear, good morning, it wasn’t like I didn’t want to greet you but……”. Lovingly placing my index finger on her lips, and gently pulling her closer I said “…ssssshhhhhh….it’s okay now…alright?” She stared into my eyes and she perfectly understood my message. With a confirming nod, and a near watery eye, she said “Alright kiddies, the driver is here…get your bags, lunch box, snacks pack, juice, and hey…Dan ‘n’Jide don’t forget to take your sweater, its harmattan season you know…..”. I turned back to help the kids with their bags, and lunch boxes and then my wife asked “sweetheart where is the key to the Camry?” With a puzzled look, I said “it’s on the centre table….but…eermmm…my dear, have you forgotten am going to work? Am gonna need my car babe…perhaps unless you’re not going out yourself then I cou……….” Kendra my wife (or Auntikendi as she is popularly called in the neighbourhood) cuts in and clears throat “…sweetheart, I know you’re going to work. But if my car could have been used, then surely they would have used mine”. Still puzzled, but I refused to probe further. Perhaps her car is faulty said one part of my mind, or maybe she forgot to fuel it. But even though she forgot to fuel it, the car’s fuel tank cannot be totally empty…abi? Or what exactly did she mean by “could have been used”? These were the various thoughts on my mind as I escorted the kids to the Camry and met John our driver outside. I waved to greet the kid’s goodbye, and as I turned to go back inside and get ready for work, my eyes caught glimpse of something. It was my wife’s car. It looked like the windscreen had some star shaped effect on it, and I was just wondering what could be making such a large and beautiful reflection against the windshield. As I stood there admiring the wonderful art of nature, I saw a leaf fall off a tree, and as the wind was blowing, itgradually disappeared into the car. Amused at what had just happened, I went to take a closer look at the car as I was yet to fully understand what I saw. “EEhhnnn……what is this?…” Suddenly my wife’s name changed from “dear” or “babe” as she was fondly called to “IyaJide”. “IyaJide……come ooo….e bositakiakia…..how did this happen?”  I had to shout like 2 times before she heard and finally came out of the house. The car in question was a brand new car bought as a birthday gift for my wife barely three weeks back. It was a fresh and clean Lexus GX470. Dear lord, what am I going to do now? The whole windscreen is shattered, the roof is badly dented…this is gonna be lots of money; as I thought deeply to myself. She walked up to me, and while looking into her eyes and pointing at the car at the same time, I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me you crashed your car? When, how and where did this happen?”

See also  How To Prevent Accidents In The Home

Quietly and slowly, my wife pointed in the direction of the landlord’s apartment. “WHAT!!!!! You mean to tell me that Baba Taofeek did this to your car?…..how come?” What kind of life is this, in my dream, the landlord sold his house to the bank without informing we the tenants but in reality ….

tolet 2

*************************************************************************

This was not the first, second or third time our landlord (Baba Taofeek) was going to be destructive to any of our properties and the annoying part of it all is that all we get is just a sorry. Anyway, what was I expecting again? He was definitely not going to buy us a new flower pot to replace the one he claimed to have broken mistakenly nor was he going to buy my son a new dress when he decided to take it from the cloth line and he claimed that he thought it was a rag. I have had my fill of this man I said to myself….”this is just the height”. My wife immediately saw the rage building up in my eyes and she knew quite too well that at that stage, am almost uncontrollable. Immediately I stormed into the house to get a top (shirt) and walked straight down to the landlord’s quarters.

I probably would have had a rethink of my action had the man received me in a polite and remorseful manner. On my way to “Baba’s” place as he’s fondly called, I realized I had not yet asked my wife how the man damaged the car. But at that stage, it was of no use any longer. The point remained the car is damaged- badly damaged at that. With all the power in my fist, I banged his door with a loud noise

“Gbo! Gbo!!! Gbo!! Gbo!! Gbo!…Gba! Gba!Gba!Gba!Gba!Gb!……

With all annoyance in his voice, Baba retorted “Ta ni en…taniwambe ti o konilekun bi wehreh……o l’ekoni?…kilodebayi…” He opened the door, and upon seeing me, I thought he was going to calm down and start apologising immediately. Only for him to reply me saying;

“So na u dey bang my door like say u dey craze….u deymadtnii? Wetin? Wetin?

Without thinking twice and saying a word, I welcomed him with two resounding slaps. Only after I had done that did I realize that he was albino and I should have been a little bit gentle on his cheeks. But that was history for me. The deed had been done, and that was all that mattered at the moment.

See also  Why a room is called a “Master’s Bedroom”

“Na who you think you be? No think say me I gentle oo? Wetin my wife do you weh you go spoil her car like that…?”

With an almost watery eye and a more humbled spirit he said “ehhn! ehn! I no know nao…na by mistake….na my pikindeycarry water for head for that balcony side, na so she kon see rat, kon run, throw away bucket for ground. Naa so the bucket kon fall from up, land on top AuntiKendijsheep”

As a matter of fact, the more he spoke, the more irritated I became. After hearing the whole tale, I asked him why he didn’t even say sorry and he was busy shouting at my wife in the early hours of the morning and now even asking me if am crazy?He then apologised and said it wouldn’t repeat itself. The cost of the repairs was shouldered by me alone, as our landlord refused to drop a dime. After all the pleas that we should contribute to the repair of the car, our landlord totally refused.

Some days after, we were given a quit notice and told to vacate the house as soon as possible. I knew right away that this was just the beginning of a greater ordeal.According to law, each tenant ought to be given at least 2 months quit notice in advance but in a country like ours where laws are bent and broken like broomsticks; such laws are only told to the wind.

Baba Taofeeksimply did this to punish us, and make us pay for the two slaps I dazed him. We had done no harm to warrant this punishment. We began packing to a destination we had no idea of. My wife and I racked our heads for the best place that we could move to, but our minds seemed to fail us. We had determined right from our courtship days that we were not going to live with a family friend or a relative, so that option didn’t even cross our minds at all.

So many things had to be considered in choosing a new place to move to. Amongst which were; proximity to the children’s school and my office, road network, security- because I didn’t want to be visited by Boko Haram, and of course good drainage system too – because I definitely did not want to be swimming in a pool of water when the usual heavy rain hits Lagos.

Eventually, we had to move into a hotel temporarily. You wouldn’t want to hear the financial implications of that decision, would you? We lodged there for over a month, and the effect was already telling on our pockets. We spoke to many friends, partners and colleagues about our situation and how desperate we were to get a house. My wife, being a woman of class, wanted us to buy a house in Banana Island. I just thought to myself “no be me una go kill…..after spending one month for 5 star hotel…dey chop chicken and turkey….u kon want make I carry money go buy house for banana….banana koh mango nii…mtsheewww…”

Luckily, my friend’s brother was into real estate business. We made the necessary contacts, and got in touch with the real estate agent.I told them what we wanted, our budget and the options for its location. Some days after, he rang my mobile, and told me to come over on a certain date for an inspection. Quickly I told my wife and the first question she asked was “hope it is in Banana Island?” Looking at her, and not trying to disappoint her I said…”yess! It’s at Banana Island…just get ready, we leave by 10am to go and inspect it tomorrow.”

We got there the next day and after the inspection, we were very displeased with the state at which we found the property. How can there be a house without proper drainage system and good water supply? I wondered. We went round the property and my wife and I couldn’t stop shaking our heads. When we got to the backyard, we found it in a awful state, rats parading the compound, thick bush around which made it look like a perfect abode for snakes.  Leaking roof, peeling paint works, a broken ceiling amongst other awful sights my eyes beheld. I held back all the terrible words which this agent clearly deserves as he tried to justify his reason for taking us to this house.  We left the place and when we got home, I called this my friend’s brother and told him that we were disappointed in the agent he assigned to us.

See also  Realities of COVID-19 in the Real Estate sector in Nigeria

He apologized sincerely and promised us a more experienced agent and he said he was going to ensure that the new property was in a condition that was up to our taste before we’re called for an inspection. But then, I remembered the principle that first and last impression matters a lot. As far as I was concerned the first and last impression of this agent was nothing to write home about, hence I was done with him and no amount of apologies could make me change my mind.

I went online and searched for real estate agencies. This is because at this stage, I wanted to be dealing with a company that was majorly into real estate. Online, I found a company called getyourownhome. I went to their site and found their webpage very attractive.I never could have imagined that searching for a house was as easy as eating groundnuts. We were warmly received by polite and eloquent English speaking customer care representatives over the phone.

They asked us to go check their website, but I didn’t have that time and patience.So they got down to work immediately and in no time, they rang my mobile back and there the word goes “Sir we found one property that perfectly suits your needs…..If you don’t mind sir, we could go on an inspection with you  tomorrow.”

On getting there the next day, I was greatly delighted by their professionalism and the property they brought up for inspection. Without thinking twice, I was almost absolutely certain that my wife and kids were going to love this. In simple words, apart from the fact that the house was new, it was just awesome.

We agreed on a time to move in and made necessary arrangements to close the deal. On getting to the car, my wife was almost going to crucify me because it wasn’t on Banana Island. But I knew far too well that the financial strain it will put on me will be unbearable. I made her understand in the car that the situation of our new apartment was just perfect and in close proximity with everything we had contact with on a daily basis. Such as the kids school, church, etc. Moreover it had the basic social amenities in any reasonable Nigerian will wish for. If my wife agreed or not, that I really don’t know, but all I know is that after I explained to her, she became calm and relaxed.

Two weeks later, we moved into ourpeaceful and lovely new apartment located at Ikota, Lekki. That was how our story changed and my wife eventually grew to love the house. And of course the kids loved it too. Well it’s not like they really had a choice anyway.

 

–Patrick Pomary

Tags

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button