This is a Part in the Series titled, “Parenting Accommodation in Nigeria” and we have been able to Learn a few crucial things about parenting in Nigeria. These ranges – from issues of accommodation to drug abuse, and peer pressure. Today, we would look into the issues of care and trust, and its impact on child development. I would love to use a personal experience.
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As a child, my parents especially my mum had a tough time trying to understand me. The truth is that I used to think that, she was wicked, and she does not love me with the way she scolds me. She is a disciplinarian, but she wasn’t so strict with my sister.
Most times, she feels that there are some things that I should know, but I didn’t know them because I needed to be taught. Children are different one should not expect all of them to behave the same way. For instance, the first time I tried to cut an orange, I cut it upside down. She was seriously mad at me. She queried why I should cut the orange that way. The truth is that I didn’t know a better way to go about it.
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I was inquisitive. Why do we have to cut it in a particular way? I was hurt, but I couldn’t talk because she was angry. I was just 7. She didn’t give me any reason why I shouldn’t cut it that way, she was just angry.
This is the same mistake most parents make. We tend to correct our children without adequately pointing out their errors and why it is wrong to do so. Children need an explanation from most decisions we take even when he comes to correcting them.
Many parents lose their children to loneliness, to their bedrooms, and isolation because do not correct with care. The fact is that parents in Nigeria, and Lagos especially, tend to have a generational conflict with their children because they want to copy the old system of parenting that their parents in grooming them.
Children and teenager need reasons for almost everything their parents do. You cannot scold them without teaching them what to do first. They need the right teaching. Children appreciate knowing the reason behind parent’s action.
Rub minds with your children. Tell them, why you do the things you do, why you live in a flat, and how you pay their school fees. Notwithstanding, you should be careful and come to their standard while divulging this piece of information.
Raising children in Nigeria or in Lagos is a big task, but it can be achieved.